I LOVE homeschooling. I can’t speak well enough about it. All the silly criticisms simply aren’t true… “They won’t be well-socialized”… Honestly now, who wants their children socialized at public school? Sitting at a desk for the majority of the day, around peers who don’t know anything more than you and only want to discuss Pokémon and blue hair and Taylor Swift and God knows what else… come on now.

With homeschooling there are endless ways your children can “socialize” (which is a weird term to be begin with IMO), and it’s not from a government-run school. Examples: church, co-op groups, play dates, family, siblings….and YOU, the parent. Parents are the best way for children to “socialize,” if they are indeed intentional with their children.

The claim that “I’m not equipped to teach my children” most likely isn’t true. Adults learn all kinds of skills for the career that they put their mind to. It’s not a matter of not being able, but rather not being willing. As it is often pointed out, why would you send your child to the same institution that left you without the ability to teach basic academics? If public school didn’t equip you to homeschool, that’s probably not the best route of education. But the truth is you most likely are equipped; you just don’t want to.

But apart from countering these criticisms, what I really love to talk about is what I love about homeschooling….

My favorite thing is the time I get with my children 🤍…nothing beats that. There is no way I’m sending them away for 8 hours a day to people who don’t love and appreciate them like I do, hoping they are receiving strong and wise education. No sir, they belong at home with their family who loves them. This life flies by way too fast for me to only have a few hours in the evenings with these beautiful souls God gave me.

Further, I went to public school, and the education I received was terrible. I always say my real education didn’t start until I graduated high school. 

Another thing I love is the freedom and the slowness of the mornings. I do not know how mothers get up and scramble to get everyone ready and out the door and disperse to different locations all day. Men have to do that…that is part of the curse. But women have taken it upon themselves to leave their domestic sphere and work for another all day, rather than care for their homes and serve their families. No thank you. The care of my home and children belongs to me. 

While I absolutely love not having to rush out the door each morning, that doesn’t mean I waste time being lazy. I believe in hard work, and every moment of each day is accounted for. While I don’t have to get up early, I still choose to get up early to have plenty of time to pray, read Scripture, and read other books. I make sure I get this in during the early hours before my children wake up. Then when they do wake up, we have morning devotion time of more praying and singing, and they eat breakfast and the babies get lots of cuddles. I get chores and housework done within the first several hours of the day, and around 10/11 when the babies go down for a nap we start homeschool. It only takes about 2-3 hours, and we are done by 1-2pm! Then we do more housework (there is always housework, and I’m not paying anyone to do something I can do myself, so it keeps me very busy), go on a walk, work on our garden, or visit a friend. 

My husband doesn’t get home till around 8 or 9, so the house is always clean and picked up by the time he gets home, and the babies are already bathed and in bed, and I get to enjoy some time with him before we go to bed. 

But I mentioned freedom, and I LOVE the freedom of homeschooling and not having having my life controlled by a school system. The beauty of homeschooling is that you get to choose what works for you (unless you use a charter program, in which you do have deadlines and have to abide by certain regulations, but charters tend to be very anti-Christian and I do not recommend them). 

What I do recommend is finding a curriculum you love (I love The Good and the Beautiful), along with a co-op that you love (I love Classical Conversations), and use those according to your own schedule.

During the “school year” I use the Good and the Beautiful for math and language arts, and we work on those lessons a little everyday. We’re usually done by April/May, but we continue to do school every day throughout summer. For whatever reason, Science seems to be what we most neglect thought the school year, so during the summer we focus more on science and we review math and language arts, and get a head start on these subjects for their upcoming year. 

History is well-loved in our home, so we talk about it all the time. We read lots of history books, learn many history songs through CC and study the CC history cards (they are AMAZING), and my husband knows more history than anyone I know so when he is home he is always teaching history lessons to our children. 

Through CC they also learn Latin and geography, along with more math, grammar, and science. They are receiving a very well-rounded education, but without any pressure. They never turn anything in or have to meet any deadlines, which makes learning fun and enjoyable (a huge emphasis with CC). 

While you may be wondering, “Aren’t you worried they will fall behind or won’t meet requirements?”…

No, not at all. Perhaps it’s my personality, but as I said, we grind. I didn’t choose to homeschool my children to give them a worse education, but a better one. Each day is full of so much purpose and a huge part of that is educating my children. Even apart from our 2-3 hours of sit-down study time, we do activities all throughout the day where they are always learning something. Yes, I make sure they have free play time as well, that is important. But I very much teach them not to waste time and to be intentional with the time God gives us.

So no, they are not behind. My two oldest are actually a year ahead of where they should be, and even in the advanced grade level they are in, they are ahead in that! Homeschooling allows you to make the most of your time given in each day, rather than wasting time in a public school setting where the students are often waiting for the other 30 students to catch up. So much time is wasted in a public school that could be put to better use elsewhere (IMO!). So while many wrongly worry that homeschooled children aren’t getting the best education, it is actually proven that homeschooled children are more advanced than public schooled children. This isn’t to brag, but to assure you that homeschooled children are not falling behind. They are excelling.

Oh! Dance parties! I failed to mention dance parties! Nearly every evening we have a dance party. It is not possible for me to go to the gym or really work out at home (I get tackled by children when I attempt to do mat work outs lol), but we do dance parties each night and it is something I will always cherish with my children 🥰.

Finally, some thoughts on being a homemaker and my role as a wife:

I can’t overemphasize the importance of being a helper to your husband. This role as a woman is so downplayed in our society, but it is right there in Scripture (I’m talking to Christians obviously), and it is our job to be of assistance to our husbands, not the other way around. This is something women throughout all of history have understood, but the concept sounds foreign to us because we were not taught it this past century. But God’s perfect design cannot be brushed aside. As Elisabeth Elliot wrote, “You can’t make proper use of a thing unless you know what it was made for. The New Testament points back clearly and strongly to what woman was made for: ‘Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.’ I can’t for the life of me see any ambiguities in this.”

This is something I was never taught my whole life, until I came across wise teachers, authors, and figured it out through 10 years of marriage. Husbands need a helper. They were built to have a mission in life, with the need of a helper to assist them with that mission. Things are backwards these days, but the way they are wired and flourish still exist.

A huge way to help our husbands is to take care of the house and take that burden off of him. Our culture has flipped this script and says our husbands should contribute to domestic chores, but our husbands have been given a mission to tackle in the public sphere, and we are here to help them and create peace for them in the home. 

As it is rightly said—he is fighting enough battles, don’t be another battle he has to fight. It is so true, yet so rare when a woman understands this. Women these days think they are the ones who should be “assisted” and catered to, and men are left frustrated without the helper God designed them to have.

To quote Elisabeth Elliot again, “Common sense has told women in all societies in all ages that the care of the home was up to them. Men have been providers […] Don’t let the world around you squeeze you into its own mold, but let God remold your minds from within.”

We are needed in the home, ladies, and it is not dull. I say this because people often think homemakers have nothing to do. Believe me, we have PLENTY to do, if we understand our role. If we see rightly that we are to honor God by submitting to and helping our husbands and raising our children, the work really never ends in the home. But it is all a JOY because there is so much PURPOSE in it. We clean as unto the Lord, we educate as unto the Lord, we cook and feed and bathe and cuddle babies and play with our children all as unto the Lord.

I honestly just don’t see how women can do this when they are out giving themselves to their own career pursuits. And women never did try to tackle both, up until liberationists “freed” them to what Chesterton called self-given chains. 

Anyway, homemaking is beautiful. Homeschooling is beautiful. It’s probably stressful if you’re still trying to devote yourself to other pursuits; it definitely requires a relinquishing of all else and a complete devotion to the task. But what is more valuable than serving your family?

And this doesn’t mean you never see or serve others. Another beauty of homeschooling is you can be flexible and change up your day if you need to. A friend wants to come over? Great! No school today; we are hosting instead. There is a need to be met somewhere in the public sphere? Great! No homeschooling today; we are going to serve or help someone instead. Homemakers are not confined to a box, but we do live with immense purpose as we live our lives as joyful sacrifices of worship to God 🤍.

The key in all of this is being intentional. Life is not meant to be wasted. It is a crazy world out there, and children need a mother who is devoted to their upbringing. Women so often view their children as distractions from what they’d rather be doing, but this really needs to change. Women are called to put their family first—prioritizing being a helper to their husband, raising their children up in Christ, and being a keeper of the home. 

I could really write an entire essay on the importance of being a helpmeet (and I’ve attempted to), because it’s so crucial yet so buried in our society. But I see firsthand how truly effective it is in a marriage.

Just last night my husband was expressing to me how grateful he is for my support in what he does. He was gone for a week and came home around 9pm last night. He told me (summarized): “Thank you so much for making my life so easy. You have no idea how much it helps me that you support me and take care of the home and never nag me for working so much. I am able to focus so freely on my work without having to worry about you being upset and without having to worry about coming home to chores for me to do. Every day at work I hear other men express their frustrations with their angry wife at home—how she is complaining that her husband works too much, or is away too much, or doesn’t help enough with the housework, or isn’t putting enough effort into the marriage, etc. And I always think how blessed I am that I don’t have this burden. I am free to give my all to the jobs I have, knowing you have home life taken care of and you aren’t mad at me. You have no idea what this means to a man.”

I am not lying, he said these very words last night, and I just thought, “It really is true—God created man with a mission, and he gave man a helper to be just that to him…a helper. And look how happy the man is and how effective he can be when the wife gladly accepts her role. This is not something I’m just reading about…I’m experiencing it in real life.

The man has the responsibility of providing, but in that he also has the responsibility of glorifying God and being a witness to Christ in his work. He can’t be an effective witness if he is slacking in his job due to his wife requiring more attention from him than is possible. He is to love and cherish his wife, yes; but he is also to work with all his heart as unto the Lord in his profession, and that requires us wives to free him for this and support him, rather than hold him back.

But no one ever told me this growing up. No one told me this when I was getting married. And so it took me a while to learn. I can’t say I ever really tried to hold my husband back from his pursuits, but I’m sure I made things difficult at times by letting him know how sad I was that he was always gone, or perhaps making him feel guilty for giving himself so much to his work (he was just being responsible). 

But here’s what I’ve learned, and I think this is key to complete contentment in marriage and in life: marriage isn’t about us and our fulfillment through the other person; marriage (and life) is about living intentionally for the glory of God through selflessness. I am going to confess that there was a time I’m pretty sure I was idolizing my husband. I know this because of how sad I would become if he disappointed me in some way. He was my life and my happiness revolved around him, and if he disappointed me it affected me way more than it should have. But praise be to God He changed my heart and my focus and now I happily see and embrace that living for the glory of God is my purpose each day, regardless of how often I get to see my husband or not, and regardless of if he fails me in some way. I have taken that pressure off of him, freeing him to do his work as unto God without worrying about his wife expecting too much of him, because he knows his wife is content in the Lord and is just as focused on her appointed task in the home as he is on his task outside the home.

I’m sure I would’ve said back then that I knew the glory of God was my purpose, but I don’t think I was really living that out. I held my husband on a pedestal that he was never meant to be on. 

Don’t get me wrong, he is still my best friend and I’m madly in love with him. But my contentment doesn’t revolve around him. Christ is my joy, and I can happily serve and support my husband without needing too much. My joy is in serving and seeing him flourish.

(This really was suppose to be focused on homeschooling but I just see and hear so often women encouraging other women to seek careers outside the home and put their children in daycare and tell their husbands they need to do their share of housekeeping, etc., and I see the frustrations and detriments this causes, and so I am encouraging otherwise. 

Hey, if your husband loves housework, great. But that is not the majority of men and shouldn’t be expected of them. If you want to hold a career and outsource your children, great. This is the most encouraged path in society and there is no shortage of women doing these things. But I am simply suggesting (and insisting) that Scripture does speak loudly on this subject and lays out a different path for women and there is no denying that men, women, and children flourish when embracing this path.)

(Another thing to add real quick that pertains to being a helper to our husbands is being sexually available for them. We are here to help them, not frustrate them. Contrary to what some women think, men do need sex. Their bodies physically need it. I have yet to meet a man who says otherwise. We as their wives are the ones who they get this from. If we withhold it from them (for silly emotional reasons; I’m not speaking of being physically unable for a time), this is frustrating for them and we are being burdens rather than helpers. So bless your husband, ladies! For the life of me I can’t see why we wouldn’t want to enjoy this with them, but again it is the common thread that I see more often than not that wives claim they are “touched out” by the time their husbands come home and they don’t want to have sex with them and they think their husbands need to understand that. I’m simply suggesting otherwise: they do need it, and rather than them catering to our entitled emotions, we need to be understanding of their needs and be self-giving in this way.)

Finally, I need to add that I am not saying I am doing everything perfectly and that there is only one specific way to homeschool/live life. Far from it! We all have different personalities and have the freedom to raise and teach our children as we see fit. But with all the negativity against homeschooling and against homemaking, I am here to say it is good and beautiful. And most of all, it is filled with purpose. Homeschooling and raising children and being a wife needs to be intentional above all else. There is work to be done, and doing it all as unto the Lord with right priorities brings great satisfaction and meaning to everything 🤍.

The false stereotype of traditional wives being depicted as nothing more than sourdough bread-makers simply is a delusion. A traditional wife means above all being intentional in all that you do to the glory of God, and a big part of that is embracing and honoring the role God has laid out in Scripture for women. 

I write all this because I was never told these things growing up, nor as a young adult. In this post-modern world most women will read this and call it oppression. Even in women’s Bible studies these days these things are not taught nor encouraged. Balancing work-life while pumping breast milk and complaining about husbands is now the normal discussion. I’m presenting what I believe is much more biblical and God-glorifying, and the reader is free to agree or disagree, to take it or leave. 

I strongly agree with Chesterton when he wrote: “The woman ought to stand for a certain wisdom which is well expressed in valuing things rightly. The child ought to look on his mother as a fountain of natural fun and poetry, but how can he unless the fountain is available to play? What chance have any of these ancient arts and functions in a house so topsy-turvy; a house where the woman is out working and the man isn’t; and the child is forced by law to think his schoolmaster’s requirements more important than his mother’s?” This topsy-turvy world is the one we live in now, but it doesn’t have to be. 

“A fallacy doesn’t cease to be a fallacy simply because it becomes a fashion.” (GKC). If God says women are to be keepers of the home, then we are to be keepers of the home. If God says women are to be their husband’s helper, then let’s help! Let’s live according to God’s perfect order, not the world’s chaos.

I do not claim to do anything I propose perfectly, but in a society that celebrates the 9-5 boss babe hustle with children being left unprioritzed, I just want to share that there is another way, and that way isn’t oppressive, it is beautiful.